


Don’t Forget 잊지마요

by konicsijak



Category: Bi - Fandom, Bobby - Fandom, Double B - Fandom, Hanbin - Fandom, iKON (Korea Band), ikonic, jiwon - Fandom, kimhanbin, kimjiwon
Genre: Bobby - Freeform, Double B, Kim Jiwon - Freeform, M/M, b.i - Freeform, iKON - Freeform, kim hanbin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-03 12:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konicsijak/pseuds/konicsijak
Summary: “What if I forget you?”“Let’s just live in the moment.”A story in which, Kim Hanbin, suffered from brain cancer.





	1. Chapter 1

Hanbin smiled to the customer before she left the store. Maybe that was his last customer for the day, he thought. He looked at the clock, yes his shift had ended. He put on his worn out black coat and waited for the next cashier to arrive and continue the shift. Right at that moment, his coworker came in the store. Hanbin quickly stood up and left the store. 

Hanbin was always eager to go home. He just wanted to see his little sister, Hanbyul. She was his everything. He wanted to give everything that she wanted. He didn’t want his sister to grow up feeling unloved since she couldn’t recieve loves from their parents anymore. They were gone. Since then, Hanbin made sure to always be there for her and provided nothing but the best for his 7 year old sister. 

Hanbin walked along the pavement, in his black old skool vans that he bought from a thrift shop, 2 years ago. His headache was still there, torturing him like hell. He had been having headache for months but he thought it was just another usual headache. Maybe because there were a lot of things in his mind; the overdue rent, taxes, bills, his sister’s school fee and the list went on and on. His mind never rested. 

He also vomited a lot of time, burning his throat. He thought maybe because he ate almost nothing every day. He didn’t think it was anything serious.

However because of the constant headache, he decided to go to the hospital a few days ago. The doctor ran an MRI and a CT scan after he told the doctor about his headache and the constant vomiting. He was supposed to get the results today. 

But today, the pain was too much for him to endure. It was worse than ever. He felt like his brain was about to explode. Hanbin grab his hair, trying to gain strength but he failed. His vision became blurry. In just a moment, he collapsed in the middle of the street in Yeonnamdong. 

•••

Hanbin woke up and found himself in a hospital. He looked around and saw a purple haired guy wearing a black hoodie, jeans and a white Nike Air Max in the room. He was sleeping on a sofa beside his bed. Who the hell is that? What am I doing here?! So many questions were in his mind. But his head hurt. He looked at the clock, still with a quite blurry vision and realized,

8.10 a.m. 

“Oh Hanbyul has to go to school.” He said weakly. His face was pale. 

Hanbin tried to get out of the bed but he had no energy to do so. At that moment, the purple haired guy woke up. 

“Oh, you’re awake. Doctor! Doc!” The mysterious guy called. 

A doctor came in right after. Hanbin was confused. He needed explanations asap. The nearly balding middle aged doctor gave a weak smile at Hanbin.

“Hello, Kim Hanbin. How are you feeling?” 

Hanbin recognized Dr Park. The one that ran the tests on him.

The purple haired guy is still there, beside the bed.

“I’m fine really. I need to go. My sister...she’s alone. She has to go to school now. Dr. Park please I need to go now.” Hanbin lied cause he was worried about Hanbyul. He could just handle the pain, he thought. 

Hanbin immediately got off the bed. The other guy was taken aback by his action and quickly stopped him. 

“Calm down, Hanbin. You can’t leave now.” The doctor said. 

The guy held Hanbin’s arms to stop him from escaping. 

“I don’t understand. Can you at least explain to me. Look I don’t have time for this. My sister. She’s all alone.” 

“I know Hanbin. But now I need you to calm down and listen to me. We already have the results. You have to be strong, okay. I need you to be strong for your sister and yourself after hearing this.” The doctor explained. 

The purple haired guy could guess what the doctor was trying to tell by hearing that. He held Hanbin’s hand tightly. His hand was cold and shaking. 

 

Hanbin was diagnosed with a brain cancer. Stage 4.


	2. Chapter 2

Hanbin was diagnosed with a brain cancer. Stage 4. 

The doctor dropped the bomb with a heavy heart. Even though he had been doing this for years, it still hurt everytime he had to tell the news to his patients.

Hanbin’s knees went weak. He fell to the floor upon hearing the news, shaking and in shocked. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. He couldn’t stop shaking and felt like the whole world was spinning. Brain. Cancer. 

Fuck. 

How long did he have left to live? Would he survive? Was he gonna die? Hanbyul. What about Hanbyul? She was just about to start elementary school and still had a long way to go in life. Who’s gonna take care of her? 

All these things flooded Hanbin’s mind in a split second. He was helpless. Without realizing, tears rolled down his cheeks like rivulets. This was too much for him to handle. 

The purple haired guy helped Hanbin to sit down. He hugged Hanbin without saying anything. He knew. He knew exactly how Hanbin was feeling. He had lost someone that he loved the most because of cancer. At this point, Hanbin only needed a never ending support from his loved ones. For some strange reasons, he felt the need to be with Hanbin even though Hanbin was nothing more than a stranger who he helped taking to this hospital, 2 hours ago.

“I need to puke.” Hanbin stumbled down his way to the bathroom and locked himself in there. 

He didn’t puke though. He just sat there, shaking and sweating. He pressed his forehead to the toilet seat and tried to calm himself. This was too much for him to handle. When did his life get this hard? As if it wasn’t terrible enough before, he thought. 

 

“How long does he have, doctor?” 

“We can’t tell the future. It depends on how strong his will to live. I suggest you to stay by his side.” the doctor said while patting his back before he left, leaving the two of them alone in the room. 

“I don’t even know him.” He thought alone. 

The room was dead silent. 

He didn’t know what to do. But he felt sympathy for Hanbin. He walked towards Hanbin who was about to change his clothes to leave. 

“Hey hey where are you going? You cannot go anywhere for now.” He said in a serious tone.

Hanbin gave him a serious look. 

“And who the fuck are you man?” He was clearly annoyed and angry. With everything. Little did these people know, he had a lot of things to be done, Hanbin thought. 

He was surprised to hear the harsh word from Hanbin. 

“Woah chill. Sorry. I’m Bobby. I was the one who took you to the hospital. You collapsed in front of a cafe, remember?” 

“Okay Bobby ssi, thanks a lot but I need to get to my sister. Move.” 

Hanbin couldn’t think straight when it came to his sister. She was his only family left. 

Bobby sighed. He can’t just let him go without doctor’s permission.

“Look I’ll go get your sister. Where is she?” Bobby volunteered. 

Hanbin frowned upon hearing that. 

“No. Why should I trust you?” He would never let anyone else take care of Hanbyul aside from the ahjumma living next door. Let alone this purple haired guy who he didn’t even know. 

“So you would rather let your sister be alone at home? Starving? Fine then, not my problem.” Bobby snapped. He went to sit on the sofa, still contemplating his decision whether to stay or leave.

Hanbin didn’t say anything. After a moment, he spoke up. 

“Hey, uh sorry for not trusting you just now. Can you please pick my sister up? She’s at the sauna near the post office.” 

Bobby looked up from his phone and saw Hanbin was smiling at him pitifully with his pale face and dry lips. Bobby chuckled a little.

He’s quite cute. 

But wait

“Wait what? Sauna?”

“Yeah, I had to. We got kicked out yesterday.” Hanbin sighed. He looked so weak and helpless.

“Oh.” Bobby felt sympathy even more. 

“Hey, what if she bites me or kick me? She doesn’t even know me.” Bobby tryna lighten up the mood. 

“Don’t worry. She has a soft spot for a handsome and cool guy.” Hanbin replied with a smile and that made Bobby laughed. 

Did he just say I’m handsome? And cool? 

Huh, we been knew. Bobby smirked alone. 

••••

“Hanbin oppa! Are you okay? What happened to you?” Hanbyul suddenly came running into the room looking for Hanbin. 

Hanbin who was sleeping after taking his medication woke up upon hearing her voice. He smiled when he saw her. 

“I’m okayy. I just had a headache. But now I’m okay.” Hanbin said.

“Please don’t be sick anymore.” 

“I won’t.” Hanbin was trying his best not to break down in front of his little sister. 

Hanbyul smiled while holding Hanbin’s hand that was bigger than hers. 

“Where is he?” Hanbin asked when Bobby was nowhere to be seen. 

“Oh Jiwon oppa? He is talking to the doctor outside. He is so kind, he bought me this lollipop!” Hanbyul said excitedly. 

Jiwon? 

So he introduced himself as Jiwon instead of Bobby to Hanbyul. That’s cute, Hanbin thought.

Not long after that, Bobby came in. 

“Hanbin, doctor said you can go home for now. And about the treatme-” 

“Yeah he already told me earlier. So can we go now?” Hanbin cut Bobby’s words, worrying that Hanbyul would hear. 

Earlier, Dr Park said he would have to undergo surgery so they could get a better look at it and remove the tumor, though how much they’re able to remove was hard to determine at the moment. 

Chemotherapy was also an option, though it was proven to have a little effect on brain tumor patients. 

Hanbin asked for a few days to think about it. 

“Hanbyul, let’s go.” Bobby said then held her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

“You can drop us at the sauna.” Hanbin said. 

The 3 of them were in Bobby’s car. Bobby remained silent.

He felt it wasn’t right for him to leave these two siblings at the sauna. Especially when the older brother who was supposed to take care of everything was just diagnosed with cancer. 

Bobby kept on driving while Hanbin had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. 

“Jiwon oppa, where are we going?” Hanbyul asked after Bobby drove passed the sauna. 

“To my house.” Bobby smiled, showing his teeth. 

••••

“Wake up, Hanbin. We’re here.” 

Hanbin opened his eyes and was surprised to see an apartment in front of him. This ain’t sauna, he thought.

“Where are we?” He asked weakly. 

“Don’t worry. Let’s just go in.” Bobby said. Hanbin was very tired and his head was spinning so he didn’t question anything. He just wanted to rest. 

“Hanbyul, take this bag and let’s go.” Bobby handed her their bag pack filled with clothes and helped Hanbin to walk into the elevator and straight into Bobby’s apartment. 

“Thank you so much, Bobby.” Hanbin thanked Bobby for giving them a place to stay. They didn’t even know each other but Bobby was willing to help them.

“Ayy don’t mention it.” He smiled, showing his bunny teeth and eye smiles. 

It had been so long since someone had smiled so genuinely to Hanbin. He was so thankful for Bobby. 

Hanbin did a lot of research, looking at articles on his phone. It had been hours and his eyes hurt because of the light from the screen but nothing could top the pain in his head. 

Dr. Park was right, there wasn’t a lot they could do. He could undergo a surgery to remove some of the tumor but even if they removed most of it he’s still going to die. It could only buy him maybe an extra year, if he's lucky. 

Chemo, radiation and constant hospital visits....he didn’t want those. He didn’t want any of this. He just wanted to see his sister grow up, become a successful songwriter and maybe pursue his dream to become a rapper. He wanted to work hard and earned a lot of money to support his sister. He wanted so much more but time. There was not enough time. Even with treatment. He found out that an average survival length for brain cancer patients without treatment was about 5 months. 

5 fucking months. 

Maybe that was enough, he thought. 

He looked at Hanbyul who was sleeping on the bed. Hanbin was lost, clueless. He didn’t know what to do. He looked out the window and saw the beautiful night view of the city. Without knowing, his tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“Mom, help me. I’m scared.” 

“I’m not strong enough to do this. I’m afraid I cannot be strong in front of Hanbyul. I’m so sorry, Mom. It hurts so much.” 

“If only you were here.” 

Hanbin cried. He couldn’t stand it. The truth was he was scared. So fucking scared. But he had no one he could rely on. 

Bobby was standing at the doorstep all along. His heart broke when he saw and listened to what Hanbin was saying. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for Hanbin. Without hesitation, he walked towards Hanbin and sat beside him. He put his arm on Hanbin’s shoulder and let Hanbin’s head rested on him. 

“It’s okay. We’ll get through this together okay. I’ll be here for you.” Bobby comforted Hanbin. Even though, they just knew each other, Bobby felt a connection between them. He really cared for Hanbin. 

“Y-you know it’s going to get worse, right?” Hanbin said in a shaky voice. 

“I will still be here. Always.” 

Hanbin didn’t say anything. Neither did Bobby. They stayed in that position for quite a moment, feeling each other’s comfort.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days, after so much thought, Hanbin finally made a decision. 

“I...”

Bobby who was reading an article about brain cancer immediately turned his gaze at him. 

“What is it?” 

“I....think I’ve decided.” Hanbin finished his sentence. 

Bobby’s posture stiffened and paid attention to Hanbin. 

“Okay.” 

Hanbin gathered his strength and courage but he couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t do it. 

He wasn’t used to crying so much but now he couldn’t help but cry. Every fucking time. He didn’t want to die, but he's going to die anyway. He didn’t want to undergo surgery but if he didn’t, he'd probably die sooner. 

But what’s the point of living longer if he would just end up in hospital bed, relying on drugs and machines, sleeping his days away, waking up not knowing where he was and slowly getting his memory erased. 

But if he told Bobby the truth, he knew Bobby wouldn’t like the idea. He knew Bobby wanted him to try. They talked about this. Bobby wanted to try every possibility if it meant keeping him alive. Hanbin understood his good intention. Bobby just wanted the best for him. But, Bobby’s not the one who had to go through all of that. 

"Hey, it’s fine." Bobby said, rubbing circles on Hanbin’s back with his hand. "Bobby," he gasped, peeking out through his eyelashes that are heavy and dripping with tears, 

“I don’t wanna do any of them. Neither the options.” He blurted out the words. 

Bobby went silent for a few seconds before speaking,

“Hanbin, I know you’re scared but..” 

“You don’t understand. I don’t want them poking my head, feeding me drugs while me being half dead. It’s going to get bad anyway. And I don’t want Hanbyul to see me in that condition.” Hanbin exhaled shakily. 

“Hanbin..” Bobby whispered, “Do...do you want to die?” 

“Of course I don’t. But I’m going to anyway. Don’t you understand Bobby, I’m scared. I don’t want to suffer...any more than this..Fuck...I’m scared. I don’t know....Sorry.” Hanbin let out a deep sigh. He didn’t even know if what he said just now made sense or not. 

Bobby felt sorry. It must’ve been very hard for him. 

“I know, Hanbin. I’m sorry.” Bobby hugged the skinny guy tightly. Hanbin started to cry again. Tears welled up Bobby’s eyes too. He had grown so much closer to Hanbin for the past days. He didn’t want Hanbin to leave. He felt like they were running out of time everyday. Well, they were. 

How he wished he could take the pain away from Hanbin. 

“I’m sorry, Jiwon.” 

Bobby couldn’t help but smile when he heard Hanbin called him Jiwon. 

“Thank you so much for being with me. And I completely understand if you want to leave.”

“Leave? Never, Bin. I would never.” 

Bobby was dead serious. He had no intention whatsoever.

“You’re gonna regret saying that. You do realize it’s going to get bad right, I’m going to get bad like really bad, and you have to take care of me...” 

“Fuck it. I’d never leave you alone no matter how bad you would get. I promise.” Bobby intertwined his pinky with Hanbin’s as a sign of promise. Hanbin smiled at Bobby. He gotta be strong, at least for Bobby and Hanbyul.


	5. Chapter 5

The headaches were getting worse. Hanbin smiled through it, pretending everything was fine in front of his sister. He played with Hanbyul like he always did. At that moment, Bobby came back from college. He joined them playing together. The three of them laughed and had fun until Hanbin suddenly collapsed in Bobby’s arms because of his pain. Thankfully, Bobby was quick to catch him. He then fell asleep on Bobby’s lap. 

Hanbyul being a kid, of course she would ask about it nonstop. Bobby knew she was worried about her brother. But he was torn whether to tell her the truth that Hanbin was sick or kept lying to her that everything was fine. That her brother wasn’t sick.

Bobby went with the second option. 

“Don’t worry, Hanbin oppa is just tired. Let him sleep okay. Come, I’ll help you with your homework.” He said, trying to turn Hanbyul’s attention to other things. 

That night, Hanbyul asked Hanbin to fix her toy like he always did. He used to fix the toy but that night he just couldn’t. His hand was shaking so badly. He tried to hold the toy but he couldn’t. 

Hanbin couldn’t even build the goddamn Lego. 

Tears started to well up his eyes. Hanbyul then realized her brother’s condition. 

“It’s okay, oppa. I’ll play with other toys.” Hanbyul flashed him a smile while holding his hand. 

Fuck. He hated it so much. 

He hated being a useless older brother to his sister. He hated the fact that he was slowly losing his ability to do simple tasks. 

••••

Hanbin spent most of his time writing lyrics when Bobby went to classes and Hanbyul went to school. This was the only way he could express his feelings. Usually the words would come to his mind as fast as lightning. 

However these days, Hanbin couldn’t think of the words that he wanted. He knew. He knew the words that he wanted. But he couldn’t figure it out. It’s getting harder to get the words that he was looking for. 

“Who’s B.I?” Bobby suddenly showed up behind him. 

Hanbin quickly covered his notebook with his hand. 

“Not important. Just an alter ego I guess.” 

“Bobby and B.I. That sounds so cool!” Bobby claimed. Hanbin just laughed. 

“You didn’t tell me you can write. That was brilliant. I really love it.” 

Hanbin blushed when he heard the compliment. He had never shown his songs to anyone. He just wrote and composed with his guitar by himself. He was relieved and happy to hear a compliment and opinion from someone else. He really needed that validation. 

“Wait For Me.“ Bobby read the title. Then he read the whole lyrics. Hanbin just watched him from behind. 

“I wrote it when my mom just died. At that time I was so depressed. I was missing her so much and everything was so hard for me. I had thought of suicide many times but when I looked at Hanbyul, I gained strength and will to live. She honestly has saved my life for so many times.” Hanbin opened up. He could never forget the struggles and hardships that he had been through. He never wanted to go back to that moment. It was the worst part of his life. He was just glad that he was in a better place now. 

Bobby nearly shed a tear upon hearing that. He could feel Hanbin’s pain and love for his mother through the lyrics.

//Wait (wait) because I’ll go to you right now  
Wherever you are, I’ll go  
Wait for me, hey, time is ticking faster  
Wait (wait) because I’ll go to you right now  
I’ll run against time and go to you  
Wait for me yeah  
So that my heart can reach her  
Time go faster  
Time go to her  
So I can reach her//

“You’re so strong, Hanbin. I admire you so much.”

Hanbin just smiled weakly. This was all an act, he was not strong, he didn’t know how much longer he could pretend to be strong. 

“Anyway, have you prepared the...the....uh..Hanbyul...” 

Bobby’s brow furrowed as he turned to look at Hanbin, lips curving downwards into a confused frown. "Huh?"

Hanbin tried to make a square shape with his shaky fingers. “For school." he blurts, feeling more embarrassed than anything else.

"Ahh you mean the lunchbox?" Bobby asked, voice dripping with concern.

"Lunchbox." Hanbin repeats, relief flooding through him so fast he thought he might pass out. "Yeah. Lunchbox." The word felt just as familiar as it always had, rolling easily off his tongue and he almost wanted to laugh.

Bobby didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.  
The look on his face told Hanbin everything he needed to know.


End file.
